Imogen aged 7 months.
2 sleeps till Immie's 6th birthday, the number 6 has always meant something to me.
I believed if Immie made it to 6 years old she would be ok.
3 years ago when she was just about to have her 3rd birthday (when she was diagnosed) her 6th birthday seemed so far away.
Now I know that the number 6, can not make any of what is happened in the last 3 years different. This dear friends and family makes my heart break. I said to someone yesterday I would let them know what it’s like after Immie passes, but right now I actually believe that watching her rally and wishing her to pass is harder than losing her.
I have been very fortunate and had never till now, felt the grief of losing someone very close to me. I never really understood how hard it actually is. Well now with my eyes wide open I feel the pain, the engulfing feeling of dread (terror or apprehension as to something in the future; great fear) everyday. What a horrible place to be..though I am thankful for my true inspirations, my friends Cherrie and Vanya, who I have been blessed to know since being on the ward. They both lost their beautiful boys, Blake and James to cancer. Even though I know they both still have hard days, out of the darkness they have learnt again to laugh, love and build a new “ normal” life, whilst still remembering there boys always. I love you both Cherrie and Vanya (and all your family : ).
I need to know that happiness again is possible; Imogen would never want any of us to dwell in long term self pity. She even now continues to tell us off when she sees us crying. Telling me she is fine, now stop crying mummy, go find daddy and give him a hug. I aim to continue to living for her everywhere I go she will be in my foot prints, living through me and us.
Our incredible battler continues on, she is the toughest cookie you will ever meet.
Below Ashton aged 7 months.
11 comments:
This is one of the hardest things to go through as a parent but I thank you, your family and most of all Immie who has made me see life as it should be lived, every moment should be for laughing, living, smelling the roses and enjoying each others company.
It's the little things in life that mean the most.
Have a wonderful day together lovely family.
Special kisses for Immie (1 day to my birthday and 2 to yours....hehe).
Big Hugs
Millie xx
Just letting you know that I think of you all everyday , I send my love and happy thoughts to you . From one mum to another my heart goes out to you . with love Michelle
Big loves to your increddible battler Immie, and also to you Fiona,Jason,Kody and Ashton, your collective courage is amazing, thankyou for allowing us to share your journey.xxxxx.
I wish I had half your strength. You amaze me really... Your family is very lucky to have you.
There are tough and sad times coming soon, you know that. Yet you are still positive...
I hope you are all having a good day today. Lots of hugs.
Damaris xo
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. It is so hard watching someone you love suffer. Having had to endure the pain and heartache of watching both my parents slowly fade away due to illness is something that no one should have to endure. I am not sure how I would cope if it was one of my children. You are so strong and remain so positive, even now when the end seems so near. I am not sure I would be as strong. I so admire you and your family. Imogen's story has made me look at my own life and family in a different way, appreciating even the little things my kids do. Take care.
God bless.
Gina Whittome.
Dearest Fiona,
Each morning when I wake, I lie and wonder what your next blog will bring. It brings feelings of sadness for what we can't change, it brings feelings of hope, that Immie can enjoy a 'movie' or something nice, some time in her day. It brings feelings of peace, wishing that Immie was able to sleep peacefully. It brings feelings of anger, that darling Immie and other children including mine, have to go through so much pain. It brings feelings of despair, just thinking about what you and your lovely family are going through, as you are forced to watch your beautiful, precious daughter and sister, suffer the way she is.
Let's all hope and pray that darling Immie is able to have some happy, pain-free time, on her very special 6th birthday.
Sending you all my lasting love, care, compassion and warmth. Gentle delicate cuddles for beautiful, brave Immie too.
xxxxxx Lyndall xxxxxx
Fiona, I have a private message also. xxxxx
Dear Fiona,
You amaze me, you really do. I know that you have had years to digest what is happening to your family and your precious, beautiful daughter. But I am astounded by your wisdom and how you have managed to be in the place that you are now. You seem so together and at peace. This is perfect as I believe it will make Immie's journey, and the rest of your families journey so much easier.
You are the epitome of a strong, loving matriarch. Your family are blessed to have you. Be kind to yourself.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IMOGEN - May your 6th birthday be full of joy and peace.
All my love from my family to yours, Alison.
I don't know you but just from reading your blog it is obvious where Imogen gets her amazing strength of character. I believe your whole family will be okay in the end, just as Imogen so clearly wishes, and that part of every laugh and smile your futures hold will belong to her too.
Thinking of you all with much love I wish there was something I could do for you.
Nicky
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! Happy 6th Birthday Immie!! hope you have a very magical birthday!!
lots of love from
Kylie,giovanni zara and zana leusciatti (watson) xoxoxoxo
i had to post here coz i didnt know where else to send it and i know it is tomroro but i wanted to get in now before my forgetful brain kicks in and then i have to write a day late!!! lol.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IMOGEN - 6 today (26th) such a special girl - I hope you enjoy today with your family.
Thinking of you
Millie xx
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