Another precious memory

One of the main things I have learnt from the last three years is that there really is no point in worrying about something, as it normally never turns out as bad as your worries imagine it to be.

Even though I have learnt that and regularly quote that, it did not stop me from stressing about what Imogen’s birthday was going to bring us.

Would it be all of us crying?

Would Imogen be sad or in pain?

Well you guessed it I should not have wasted my time and worried.
Imogen birthday yesterday was perfect for where we are right now. Imogen gathered up her breath and blew out all six of her candles. She then enjoyed a piece of her cake and a few snakes. Imogen also pondered aloud why no one had given her any birthday presents (we had given her all her presents at her birthday party). Luckily I had some extras in the cupboard, which I quickly wrapped and presented, and surprisingly they were well excepted : ). Granma and Aunty Bibby (at Imogen’s request) came around for a tea party on the bedroom floor. We all got to eat a family tradition of fairy cakes being bought by the Granma (yum).

Imogen was happy, content with her birthday

We were happy, content with her birthday…. …simple things.

In reflection of yesterday whilst washing Baby Ashton, I discovered that I had been spending more time concentrating on when she was going to pass away. Rather then focusing on her in this moment, on this day, the many days she has given us and will continue to give us. I had been trying to compare this situation with normal life, which it is definitely not. I decided then that I would adjustment my thinking of normal life to this space where we are right now. This being our new normal for now, then when she passes it will be a different new normal. A forever adapting normal.

So now my normal consists of changing dvds, cooking random things for Imogen, laying and holding her hand for hours on end, heating heat bags, reminding her of fun times we have had, showing her photos of us, reading her Mr Men books, bringing Ashton into see her, where he gives her the sweetest smiles, playing wii games with Kody, making sure we do “ How was your day?”, doing my blog updates and perhaps a little cleaning : P…focusing on today, accepting today for what it is. Who really knows what tomorrow will hold…

"Yesterday's history, and tomorrow's a mystery, today's a gift and that’s why we call it the present"
Eleanor Roosevelt
I am sure that rabbit would taste good : )) thinks Ashton

With Much Love and Hope Fiona, Jason, Kody, Imogen and Ashton xxxxxx