Time

Smiley Happy Ashton at 17 months

Hi

Thank you all for your wonderful words of encouragement, after my last post I realised how important this is to not just me, but everyone who has continued to read the blog before Imogen started treatment, whilst she was in treatment and since she became the most beautiful angel girl ever.

Kody and I set our selves a challenge during the school holidays to start to make a book all about Imogen; including her favourites, likes, dislikes and fond memories we and other had of her. I know I have asked a few of you for memories though if I some how missed you please share your memories with me by dropping me an email – fiona2jason@hotmail.com.

We are hoping to have it assembled and printed by Imogen’s first angel anniversary, so we need anything anyone wants to add by the end of March.

We have already received some gobsmacking memory recalls from some people, which once again reminds us all of how blessed we were to be able to share our life with our incredible old soul little girl Imogen.

We have also received a lot of memories or Imogen sayings we had all simply forgotten, it has also helped us remember our girl and the little things she did that made her Imogen. Please no matter how small you may think it is please share. We believe it will be a cherished gift for Ashton and Baby Sunshine who did not get to truly know her as we did.

Life has a bit rocky as of late, Imogen’s nine month anniversary and the beginning of the new school year really felt like it had a bigger effect on our grieving then usual. Oh the whole pregnancy hormones and lovely humid Perth weather of late might have also tipped us over as well : P.

To me as Imogen’s mum, her 9 month anniversary real struck a chord with me as I reflected that I had carried her in my belly for nine months, it also was the same amount of time that Immie was declared cancer free for before her second relapse. Usually I am not one to ponder of numbers, similar dates; basically because this fourth time pregnant brain does not retain them. So I found this reflecting on similar numbers /dates as strange and sad.

It is hard to believe shortly it will be a year since I saw my little girl. That is one date I definitely wish I could skip or bury myself deep in the doona.

Yet it is another date that bereaved parents have to endure; many other bereaved parents have told me it is one of mixed emotions. I only dare to imagine, there are still times when my grief simply takes my breath away.

We have been slowly going through Miss Immie’s room, packing up all her specials and prize possessions. Another heart breaking thing to endure, the only thing that keeps me going, is that we are not tossing or giving anything away. If we ever want to or need to visit her things again it all is recorded and accounted for in our storage.

The hardest thing to pack away for me was her desk, covered in countless notes for her friends (that never were able to be given by her), tiny scraps of paper on which she had drawn smiley faces, cats, flowers and written her name, textas in a rainbow of colours, sizes and abilities, shells, nuts, pom poms, glitter, sparkles, stickers…she was one creative artist girl our Immie.

This room packing is all in preparation for Sunshine, Kody will move to Immie’s room, Ash to Kody’s and Sunshine to Ashton’s. Kody moving in Immie’s room will bring him great comfort, he has also told us to leave a few things of hers behind and that it will now be his and Imogen’s room still forever.

Thank goodness for gorgeous big brothers.

I surprised Jason last week for Valentines Day and our wedding anniversary with organising a mid week trip to Sydney for just the two of us. Our first time away together since our honeymoon : ). We have organised to go see Debbie Malone the medium in Sydney whom we met and had a reading with on Nova 93.7. We both can’t wait looking forward to hearing what missy has to say to us.

Well I had better go clean Ashton’s grubby jam face and put him to bed.

Just quickly both the boys are happy and loving life; Kody loves high school though is absolutely exhausted (his words) and Ashton loves being able to walk and terrorise everyone even more : ).

Will blog again soon

Xx Fiona