Days

A gift from our Imogen

Hi all

As many of you would have noticed my postings have become fewer as of late, this particularly has to do with the fact that we have been busy trying to find our places in the world again. Not a day goes by when my heart does not ache for Miss Immie, barely believing that on the Saturday just gone it was 7 weeks since I heard her speak or call my name. Some days are easier, some days are much much harder, it’s the constant questioning yourself on those days that gets to you.

The wondering why and what if’s? Even after 7 weeks your heart still hopes for her return even though your brain knows the logical truth. We have been blessed to be surrounded by love, kind hearted friends and family, who have not bailed on us, when it seemed too much for them to even fathom. They have sat and listened to us, taken our cues. I also went to see an incredible Theta healer a few weeks ago, Mel whom Imogen when with us took a shining too. The meeting with her gave me peace and also for Jason when I passed on what I had experienced.

I know I will always miss her, though also recognise that we are still here and have to continue to live if not just for ourselves but for the two beautiful boys we have been gifted with. I hope one day the questions left unanswered as to why Immie had to leave us so soon will be revealed in how our futures unfold.

The bruiser and his dad

Since I last posted our earth angel friend Karen held a successful Immie’s Tea Party raising a huge amount for the cancer council. We must thank the many people who made it a success through either donations of money, goods or their time. Of course the biggest Thankyou’s must go to Karen and her family, what a wonderful and generous gift you gave to us, so many people gathered together to celebrate Immie’s life and raise valuable money for the cancer council. We look forward to many more afternoon teas and Immie Tea Parties into the future. Imogen would have definitely approved actually I think it’s fair to say she did approved. As the Holmes Gang’s raffle tickets were pulled out for practically every raffle (which we forfeited several times to then continue to pull our names out again...thankfully Immie got the picture and allowed lots of others to enjoy the booty of prizes). It was a lovely afternoon for all.

With all the Imogen associated parties, passing parades and tea parties over for now, we have now had more time to reflect on Imogen and unfortunately really started to feel the magnitude of losing her. There are moments, even hours when you are coasting along and a simple thing such as putting away something for Kody or Ashton, when you realise their will be no more of this for Immie. No more merit certificates, no more party invites, no more photos, no more drawn pictures, no more learning to write, read, spell…this is when the world becomes the darkest of places. Thankfully Jason and me are a great team, and pull each other together to a safe spot until the darkest clouds pass.

Kody and Ashton

Kody is known to us now as our rock, though this on its own does not stop me worrying about him. He has handled everything maybe just that bit too perfect. As we approach our first school holidays without Miss Immie I worry how he will fair. We have organised a few things for Kody in hope it will help him and me get through those 2 weeks.

If Kody is our rock, Ashton is still definitely our glue, affectionately known as UHU (a glue brand). Ashton smiles, giggles, sits, claps his feet (yes you read it right), yells, rocks to the music, loves swinging, loves his Granma, Granpa and Aunty Bibby and whilst rolling constantly bangs his head into walls (causing huge bruises). He is the cutest, littlest, biggest baby. There are many moments when I wish I was him. That’s not to say Ashton does not realise something is going on. Often when I tell him we going to visit Imogen at Pinnaroo, after we arrive and he can’t see Immie he gives me the strangest look. It breaks my heart what they are missing out from each other, every time I see Ashton do something cute or new I think Imogen would have loved to have been here to see that.

Well, my dearest friends, family and followers on that note I must go awake the prince charming and make the daily drive to Pinnaroo to see Miss Imogen. I can just see her sitting there waiting for her daily book reading.

Blog again soon

Much Love

Fiona and The Holmes Gang xxxxx ooooo