This is not Goodbye, it's Hello...

Hello to all my lovely Holmes Gang friends,

As much as I have loved and at time hated (sorry I can't say love when thinking about my baby cakes passing) blogging about our little Holmes Gang, the time has come to spread my wings and be a bigger inspiration to my little 'take on anything girl' Imogen. This second year without Imogen has been extremely hard and a huge struggle. I have had a hard time dealing with the reality and enormity of the fact my angel girl is not ever returning. Recently I engaged in a few sessions with a life coach and have been given a breathe of fresh of air, this was what I needed. It has taught me about the person who I want to be now and into the future. This has lead to me expanding the 'Imogen's Angels' dream and begin to blog about my passion which is allowing kids to be creative and embrace art and craft in any fashion.

I hope that you will join me there and continue to help me become the person Imogen would have loved me to be. www.imogensangels.com.au

Much love and a million thank yous for your support and love over the years x

Fiona and the Holmes Gang forever.

My Imogen,

I love you and miss you a little (actually a lot more) more everyday. Your story will live on and continue to inspire so many. Your blog; our blog will remain and be here at the Holmes Gang forever more. You are my hero, my sunshine, my reason. I promise I will drop back past at times and water the flowers and help keep you alive in our hearts always. I know you will be right beside me as our new adventure begins.

Big Kisses xxxx

Love you to the moon and back, baby girl

x Fiona

'Princess Ladybird'

Wow it’s been a long time since I posted, I will be honest when I blogged last time I got to thinking whether the blog was helping me with my grief or if it wasn’t.

You see it started to feel to me that I was going in circles, with the same tune playing over and over again…All I want is Imogen back, and coming to the blog just enhanced the fact again that she ain’t ever coming back.

There are days I am comforted with the fact Imogen can never be in pain again, she is safely tucked away in the clouds with the other sweet angels; other days I am sad and angry that she is not here.

I think I have slowly come to the realisation, as many people who have lost a child have told me, that these emotions and feelings are never going any where.

Instead in ten…twenty..years I will still feel as passionate for the need to have Imogen here with me…though instead of living in saddest and anger I will slowly learning to live with ‘spirit’ Imogen and the ugly grief by my side.

I have definitely not perfected this and the second year apart from her has definitely been harder than the first, the numbness has gone and the raw pain has been allowed to slip in.

All I can promise right now is that I will continue to take another step forward in life each day, with the vow that I live my life to the fullest for Miss Imogen and everyday try to make her proud of me as her mum.

On that note…I had a brainwave…I didn’t want anyone to forget our Imogen and actually I wanted more people who never knew her to know all about our amazing courageous girl.

This lead to the week before her birthday week (which was last week) I decided to launch ‘Imogen’s Angels Dream’.

I decided to make a ‘Princess Ladybird’ brooch in green (Imogen’s favourite colour), my goal was to sell 100.

This little brooch is to be sold from just before Imogen’s 8^th birthday on the 26^th of April 2012 to the 1^st of May 2012, her second angel anniversary to remember her and also most importantly raise funds with all proceeds going to the amazing ‘Make a Wish’.

Many of you would know we were fortunate enough to recieve a Make a Wish for Imogen in September 2009. Fast forward a few years and now ‘Make a Wish’ has had to stop taking any more wish applications as their donations have had a major downturn and they already have up to 300 ungranted wishes already on their books!

The memories we have from Imogen’s Make a Wish are priceless to us and we want to give a little (or a lot) of the love back to Make a Wish.

If you think you can help me and Imogen’s dream by purchasing one or many ‘ Princess Ladybirds’ please drop over to my facebook site by clicking on the link below. Did you know even if your not a facebook member you can still have a look!. If that does work you can send me an email to imogen’sangels@hotmail.com.

Imogen's Angels Dream 

Up to last night we had already sold 85, so my goal looks like it will be blown away already for this year! Though I am happy to continue to make as many ‘Princess Ladybird’ as need to raise money for Make a Wish after all…

 

Love to you all

Fiona

Forever Imogen’s Mum

Signs and Moments

Hi all

Above is one of my favourite and most heartbreaking photos of me and my girl.

You see the this photo was taken on the day we found out Imogen had relapsed. I know scarey isn’t it how wonderful she looks, yet that beast was busy being absolutely horrible inside her. Yet on the other hand I am blessed to have this mummy and daughter snuggle captured in time, as I did not realise these would become non existent into the future.

I am blessed to receive a lot of cheeky and small signs from my girl. I believe you have to be open to this to really see these moments for what they are. I recent was feeling a little flat, as we had missed out going to see the fireworks for Australia Day which Imogen loved. As mother nature decided here in Perth that at the exact time of the fireworks she would put on her own show of rain, thunder and lightening. Not particular child friendly or anyone friendly, I am pretty sure no one wants to be hit by lightening!.

Anyway we came home early and I was channel surfing. I eventually decided on an Adam Hill (the Australian comedian) show. This is not something I would usually choose though I decided I needed a laugh. By the end of the show I could see why I and someone else decided I needed to watch this show.

Between all the laughs this is what Adam Hill said –

There are two types of people in this world ~ inflaters and deflaters. If you can inflate more people in your life then deflate then you have had a good life. If you continue to inflate people after you have gone from this world you have had a GREAT life.

This for me was what I needed to hear at this time, as this is what our girl Imogen continues to do each day, inflate as to the MAXIMUM. The memories we shared with her and the memories she left with us and many other people continue to make us who we are and will continue to inflate us for ever more.

Miss you my girl, Imogen, I see all your cheeky signs, you will always be my inflater ♥

Love to all

Fiona

And The Holmes Gang %%

Christmas Wishes

Christmas eve…wow!

I never meant to leave my Christmas wishes post till this late, but our little world has been crazy busy in the last month. I am not sure where any of the months went between July to here today!.

I have been busy making beautiful angels and cute kid ornaments, my total from when I closed the ordering was 95! 95 angels and little people! I never imagine to get a response for Imogen’s angels like that!. I can’t thank everyone who supported me in my first christmas season enough, whether you placed an order or gave words of support – a big thank you. Imogen would have loved to see all of the little people and angels lined up. I know she was there peeking over my shoulder all the way!.

Jason has been busy working hard! He has many new dreams/goals in the pipelines for 2012, for his business. His family and his close friend will be there every step of the way to support him in pursuing them. Watch this spot!

Our Boys

Kody has been busy being awesome and getting a fabulous report. He will begin at a different high school next year, after being accept into the extension gifted and talented program for art. He is looking forward to it, Though of course will miss everyone at his old high school. Luckily for us and him, he has two of his closest mates also making the transition into the program and to the new school. Gifted and talented little bunch!. It is going to be a busy little operation here for school pick ups/drop offs, as there is no public transport from here to Kody’s new school. Though I want my big boy to spread his wings and follow his dream, so we will make it work!.

Ashton has been busy learning to speak, ensuring there is a constant bruise on his head/ear/arm/leg by running forward into life at FULL speed, looking after his brother, becoming a 2 year old drama diva, and being super cute and cheeky.

Our little middle is what we fondly call Ashton, as lauched himself in the 2’s with a whole chunk of attitute and drama queeness. He can go from being the cutest kid to a screehing siren in about 2 seconds flat!. Though we all still adore and love him,. Ashton is very much Miss Immies baby. He looks like her and his tiny voice sounds like her. His speech has come forth in leaps and bounds, thank goodness as now some of the Ashton crisis’ can be resolved as we can ask him what is wrong and he can answer!. My favourite words he says are – “aha” (yes), “Baby nic” (with a cute face), high (for you lift him up), “where’s the mouse? Ah der he is!” (from his favourite books) and the all time favourite for all “Bless you” though he says it and it sounds like the guy from the movie the godfather is saying it! Love it!

Nicholas has been learning to roll, use his tongue to look like a lizard, eat and get up on all fours and rock (nooooooo!!!!) He still continues to be a content baby. Nic spents most of his awake time (he loves his sleep) smiling!. He absolutely adores Ashton and looks at him with besotted eyes and giggles at him even when Ashton is not doing anything at all. He is just too cute, chubby and absolutely lovely! I can’t wait to see what I write about him next Christmas when both him and Ashton will be able to run around everywhere together eeeekkkk!!

Our Girl

We finally pieced together Miss Imogen’s new plaque it is beautiful, totally fitting for our incredible pocket rocket beautiful girl. I have included a photo, what do you think?.

It was a heart breaking milestone, yes she now has a beautiful plaque but it was the finality of completing it and the fact that whilst I can take a million photos of the boys when I take a photo of her now, this is what I am left to take a photo of – her plaque. Since beginning making the angels I have felt a deeper sense that Imogen is all around me. Imogen loved to craft, whenever we checked into hospital aka resort half our luggage would be craft supplies. I am glad I am able to feel her spirit more easily as this is what I wanted to happen, I wanted to do something to honor her. I can hardly believe next year she would have been turning 8 and she would have been in year three. Imogen would have now been our big girl, learning to do more tricky reading, writing and numbers – WOW. We are lucky enough to still get visits from her best friend Dakota, instead of it being heart breaking to see someone the same age as Immie, its amazing to see her and imagine Imogen as big as her now!. I am still not sure how we would feel about returning to Imogen and Kody’s old school and seeing her whole class again though. It may be time to start at a new school when Ash and Nic get to that age, we have a few years to mull it through our heads…Anyway I am sure Imogen is with us everyday and even more right now in this festive season time. She loved Christmas and all its excitement!.

We hope you know how much we love and miss your excitement Immie,

Merry Christmas baby cakes, our second without you, the pain that thought brings is unbearable.

We just hope you are lighting the heavens with christmas lights and your laughter.

Lots of love

Mum, Dad, Kods, Ash and Nic

To all our blog likers and readers

Thank you for support and love over the last year,

We love that you continue to check in on us.

We wish you all a Merry Christmas and a fabulously safe festive season,

Big Love

Fiona

And The Holmes Gang %%

Days

Well Angel Immie and me have been very busy with our new venture, Imogen’s angels.

I have been sneaking in making angels all over the place, most so when my new dynamites go for their afternoon naps. I have made and sold 50 plus angels now.

We had a few teething problems at the start with Australia Post not being so gentle with my little angels. This lead to the new more robust, more australia post friendly version of Imogen’s Angels.

I am loving all the stories behind the purchases and also loving people getting into the Christmas spirit!.

Imogen would have loved that!.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Imogens-Angels/191413810935653

Everyone here at the Holmes Gang is looking forward to Christmas and the holiday break to Denmark. Yes this year we are returning to Imogen’s second favourite place in the world. We all couldn’t handle going there last year without her, and now we think its time to return. We are all counting down the days till we go! Yippeee!!.

Nicholas is getting more cuter everyday and has started to roll everywhere…eeeekkkk.

Ashton is an adorable, cheeky, temperamental two year old. Just the other day he walked into the family room and exclamed “what a mess” with his hands on his hips…aahhh and who made that mess. YOU ASHTON!

Kody is an awesome typical teen, counting down the days left of school and dotes on his brothers.

This weekend we are delivering a new plaque to Miss Immie it is beautiful and totally Imogen, will post a photo of when we put it there.

Well must go do the post for some more angel orders,

Love to all

Fiona

And The Holmes Gang %%