Grief is a horrible thing it sneaks into your life, even when you think you have a steady control on it, you can find yourself suddenly tipped out of control, off that mountain, you have so carefully constructed.
This week marks the week in which our whole life stopped, it is the week we were told Imogen had relapsed and was terminal. The week of her first sports carnival, where she ran third in her running race.
A year later we are here again, with sports carnival pencilled in weather permitting for tomorrow, this is where she should have been, loving life, loving school, loving us. Instead tomorrow will be our last primary school sports carnival for Kody, and the last we attend until Ashton’s starts school.
Emotions this week have been running high among the Holmes’ household, with this being “that” week, the last of Kody’s primary sport carnivals and Ashton’s first Birthday, it makes it incredibly hard to digest, let alone process.I at times can still not believe Imogen is not here with us, there are moments I sit and pray and will her back to the land of the living. I would give up all of my worldly possessions just to see her once more. Yes, even though I know that would not be enough.
I never once doubt she would not be here with us forever, even when Imogen was so down, I always believed she was the miracle kid the one that would prove the statistics and doctors wrong.
I can’t believe I was so very wrong.
Run on baby girl, I can picture you running that race in heaven.
P.S. Thanks to you all who leave comments, it means a lot to me, to know my posts are being heard and read, Love to you xx
This week marks the week in which our whole life stopped, it is the week we were told Imogen had relapsed and was terminal. The week of her first sports carnival, where she ran third in her running race.
A year later we are here again, with sports carnival pencilled in weather permitting for tomorrow, this is where she should have been, loving life, loving school, loving us. Instead tomorrow will be our last primary school sports carnival for Kody, and the last we attend until Ashton’s starts school.
Emotions this week have been running high among the Holmes’ household, with this being “that” week, the last of Kody’s primary sport carnivals and Ashton’s first Birthday, it makes it incredibly hard to digest, let alone process.I at times can still not believe Imogen is not here with us, there are moments I sit and pray and will her back to the land of the living. I would give up all of my worldly possessions just to see her once more. Yes, even though I know that would not be enough.
I never once doubt she would not be here with us forever, even when Imogen was so down, I always believed she was the miracle kid the one that would prove the statistics and doctors wrong.
I can’t believe I was so very wrong.
Run on baby girl, I can picture you running that race in heaven.
P.S. Thanks to you all who leave comments, it means a lot to me, to know my posts are being heard and read, Love to you xx
10 comments:
No words, just hugs. I'm in the same place as you right now love and I am so sorry you have to go thru this too. XXX
Thank you for your blog Fee.. its amazing to think that it is a year since THAT week. In some ways it seems so long, in some ways so short. Your strength is amazing to me. Your pride in your boys is a joy. I hope you KNOW that you are very very often thought of.. love and best wishes..
(oh and congratulations on Kodys achievement)
Fee, grief is a hard thing to deal with at any time but when you are grieving such a beautiful, vivacious little girl such as little Immie it makes it ten times harder.
We are all here for you and we shed some tears and have laughed and cried with you along the way and Immie has taught so many, great lessons in love, courage and determination.
Congratulations Kody, run hard and fast today and I hope you win a few ribbons :O)
Big Hugs
Millie xx
Fee there are a lot of firsts and they are hard to get past and yes I am sure Imogen is running every day.
Hugs
Hugs to you and your family,
oh boy do your blogs make me tear up Fee!
Congrats to Kody! on his achievment.
Sports day will be bitter sweet for you.Sending cyber hugs your way :)
As the proud mum you are i know you will be cheering your boy along and secretly wishing Imogen was there,nothing wrong with that.
your beautiful girl will be watching on,i can asure you of that!
you have delt with so much and also been a wonderful mum to the boys through out all Imogens battle.
Once again i will tell you how amazing you are
And will be thinking of you through your tough days ahead.
Jaye(QLD) SS
Hi Fee, Jason, Kody & Ashton,
I have been a regular reader of your blog (via SS) and wanted to say thank you for sharing your thoughts and lives with us.
I have recently started work at an Institute dedicated to finding a cure for Children's Cancer. Immie (any many others like her) are the inspiration that makes us more determined to achieve our goal.
All the best
xox
Dear Fee, Jason, Kody and Ashton,
Just taking a few moments to let you know that you have been and are never far from my thoughts. I am sorry I haven't written lately, it has been a very trying time in the Light household with the kids health issues, but still I know that is no excuse, so yes, I have been slack and that's just not on! :o)
As this week especially, is a mixed bag of emotions for you all, I just want to offer my love, care and warm hugs to all of you.
That is FANTASTICALLY AWESOME NEWS about Mr Kody being accepted into PEAC at Balcatta High. Way to go Kody, what an amazingly talented kiddo! xxx
And to beautiful bubby boy Ashton who is celebrating his 1st birthday, a VERY special occasion! Have lots n lots of fun darling, as you turn one, and sending you big squishy cuddles too! xxx
And never forgetting the most beautiful, brave little Angel girl Miss Immie, so loved and admired by all of us! Enjoy your little 'treats' sweetie pie, sending you big big cuddles too! xxx
please know that you all remain in my thoughts and prayers every single day, God Bless Mark Samm Deqlan Logan
Just wanted to let you know that even though i don't comment all the time, you are all never far from out thoughts.
Much Love
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