No more photos of our beautiful smiley girl, Imogen’s sparkle in the last few weeks has drifted away.
I am sad
I have cried a million tears of late, and I have no doubt there will be a zillion more to follow.
I am sad for the pain not just the physically pain our girl is going through and has been through, but also the pain of her no longer being able to do what her friends are doing. No running, no school, no swimming, no laughing, no riding, no scootering, she has become a shell of herself.
I am sad for all the milestone moments and simple moments I will never be able to experience and enjoy with her.
I am angry
I am angry that one cell in Imogen’s beautiful 2 year body decided to become mutant and begin this vicious 3 year cycle.
I am angry that it has been more than 20 years since any firm or partially successful medical treatment for Neuroblastoma has been discovered. I am angry that when treatment begins the odds are stacked so high against Neuroblastoma kids that the chance of survival is very slim. Then even with survival the short and long term side effects from the treatment, can then also threaten their chance of living a normal life.
I am angry that I had to explain to my 11year old son, that the hospital no longer has any idea what to do for Imogen and that she will become an angel soon.
I am angry for all the lost kids and no change to treatment.
I am grateful
I am grateful for Imogen, pure and simple. The lessons and love she has given us, we would have never known.
I am grateful for my close family, Jason, Imogen, Kody and Ashton.
I am grateful for having the last three years, to understand how important life is. I am grateful for the generosity we have experience from people we would have never connected with and also to the family and friends in our live that have step up to the plate every step of the way. You know who you are.
I am grateful for the incredibly strong and admirable children we meet on the ward, and also their super back up team, their family. I grateful for the compassion, their abilities and the love the staff of Ward 3b gave to us, the friends we met along the way and unfortunately the future 3b children.
I am grateful for the theta healing Imogen received and receives that give her back her sparkle. I am most grateful for Mr Lee Reniets our naturopath and forever guru, for never giving up on Imogen, without him this road would have been much harder.
I am also grateful for Dr Alastair Nutall and his Burgess Street family for their generosity, thoughtfulness and compassion for our girl. I am grateful for Imogen picking us when she decided to become our daughter.
Imogen will be celebrating her 6th Birthday this Easter Saturday (a few weeks shy of her actual birth date). Imogen is still firm on the fact that she is not having her 6th birthday but instead her 13th. Who could argue with that, she has given us more love in 6 years then we would have experienced in a life time. Though being her mum I know this is not why she wants to be thirteen, it is so she will be older than the brother she admires so much..bless her : ).
My girly girl is having three Ben 10 entertainers coming, 30 plus friends, our favourite photographer Brandie come take pictures, a HUGE Ben 10 Cake and lots of yummy food prepared by many people.
All we hope for now is Imogen’s pain and tiredness to stay at bay for those 2 hours (10 -12), please send us healing and positive thoughts for this to happen.
With much Love and Hope
Fiona, Jason, Kody, Imogen and Ashton
Forever the Holmes Gang.
I am sad
I have cried a million tears of late, and I have no doubt there will be a zillion more to follow.
I am sad for the pain not just the physically pain our girl is going through and has been through, but also the pain of her no longer being able to do what her friends are doing. No running, no school, no swimming, no laughing, no riding, no scootering, she has become a shell of herself.
I am sad for all the milestone moments and simple moments I will never be able to experience and enjoy with her.
I am angry
I am angry that one cell in Imogen’s beautiful 2 year body decided to become mutant and begin this vicious 3 year cycle.
I am angry that it has been more than 20 years since any firm or partially successful medical treatment for Neuroblastoma has been discovered. I am angry that when treatment begins the odds are stacked so high against Neuroblastoma kids that the chance of survival is very slim. Then even with survival the short and long term side effects from the treatment, can then also threaten their chance of living a normal life.
I am angry that I had to explain to my 11year old son, that the hospital no longer has any idea what to do for Imogen and that she will become an angel soon.
I am angry for all the lost kids and no change to treatment.
I am grateful
I am grateful for Imogen, pure and simple. The lessons and love she has given us, we would have never known.
I am grateful for my close family, Jason, Imogen, Kody and Ashton.
I am grateful for having the last three years, to understand how important life is. I am grateful for the generosity we have experience from people we would have never connected with and also to the family and friends in our live that have step up to the plate every step of the way. You know who you are.
I am grateful for the incredibly strong and admirable children we meet on the ward, and also their super back up team, their family. I grateful for the compassion, their abilities and the love the staff of Ward 3b gave to us, the friends we met along the way and unfortunately the future 3b children.
I am grateful for the theta healing Imogen received and receives that give her back her sparkle. I am most grateful for Mr Lee Reniets our naturopath and forever guru, for never giving up on Imogen, without him this road would have been much harder.
I am also grateful for Dr Alastair Nutall and his Burgess Street family for their generosity, thoughtfulness and compassion for our girl. I am grateful for Imogen picking us when she decided to become our daughter.
Imogen will be celebrating her 6th Birthday this Easter Saturday (a few weeks shy of her actual birth date). Imogen is still firm on the fact that she is not having her 6th birthday but instead her 13th. Who could argue with that, she has given us more love in 6 years then we would have experienced in a life time. Though being her mum I know this is not why she wants to be thirteen, it is so she will be older than the brother she admires so much..bless her : ).
My girly girl is having three Ben 10 entertainers coming, 30 plus friends, our favourite photographer Brandie come take pictures, a HUGE Ben 10 Cake and lots of yummy food prepared by many people.
All we hope for now is Imogen’s pain and tiredness to stay at bay for those 2 hours (10 -12), please send us healing and positive thoughts for this to happen.
With much Love and Hope
Fiona, Jason, Kody, Imogen and Ashton
Forever the Holmes Gang.
21 comments:
Fi & Jase, my love goes out to you. Everyday I think of you guys and hope for the best for little Immie. I'm still hoping. Lots of love, Courtney xxxxx
You guys are in my thoughts. Wishing you all a wonderful day on Saturday filled with love laughter joy happiness and painfree.
Happy happy 6th Birthday precious girl.
ith much love and admiration from us in NZ
{{Hugs}} to you all and hope the Party is as beautiful as it sounds and Imogen has a great day with energy to enjoy to the max ♥ Happy 6th (13th Birthday Little Princess♥)
I so wish they could find a cure so our children never have to go through all this,
She will always be a princess in our eyes.
Much love to you all.
Kimmie & Stu
xxx
Princess Imogen
In glitter of diamonds
In flashes of light
In rivers of sparkles
In golden sunlight
In heart's loving cuddle
In arms open wide
A princess to bless you
To stand by your side
Her laugh is infectious
Her nature sublime
As she gathers her sunshine
And spreads it through time
A princess a princess
Your rainbow a smile
Delightful enchanting
All magic and style
Stu (Heartpoet)
With tears pouring down my face, I am without words, but just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you, and I hope your beautiful Imogen has everything she dreams of on her birthday. A close friends little boy here in Melbourne has been battling NB for nearly two years, still he fights the good fight against this heartbreaking disease, but it's so relentless. I will be thinking about you often, I just wish that I could do more.
Am sending many positive vibes for Immy to have lots of energy and sparkle for her birthday this weekend. Happy Birthday Beautiful Girl, will be thinking of you on the weekend xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Millie (Mrs Bug)xxx
I can feel my heart breaking that you have to endure this too my beautiful friends, I am so sorry.
Please give Immie all our love and biggest hugs and tell her we will be thinking of her on her 13th birthday!
I can't take away your pain (if I could, I would)but I do share it. A world without Immie in it is unimaginable.
Just love to you, nothing else I can do to ease this. XXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Have a wonderful Ben party Imogen and the Holmes gang!! You are all so inspirational.
My thoughts will be with you as we share Oliver's first Easter with eggs that he can treasure hunt and actually eat.
Love, hope and prayers be with you.
Noelene Tate xo
Fiona, you are all in my heart, thoughts and prayers. Here's to a wonderful 13th birthday for Imogen.
Renee W from Simple Savings
I just wanted to let you know how much I am thinking of you all.
Immie is such a gorgeous and brave little trouper and is so very inspiring. You all are.
I will be thinking of you on Saturday, Immie, and sending you pain-free vibes.
xoxoxoxoxo
Dear The Holmes Gang, it breaks my heart to see a beautiful family in so much pain, and I so wish there was something we could do to make it go away. Forever in our thoughts, I wish I could do more for you.
Happy 13th Birthday Party to Imogen, you will have an awesome party! Big hugs and kisses.
Sam & Family
Dear Holmes fam,
I have read a bit of your journey, Simon and Karli sent me your link. I too have been battling cancer for 3 years and it has been incredibly difficult - unbearable had it not been for family and friends of course.
I will pray for Imogen, as I believe I have had healing come. I would be happy to do anything I can for healing to come to Imogen, and the best I can do is pray. It would be an honour to pray for Imogen in person, just let Simon or Karli know to contact me, but I will pray for her anyway.
Hoping with you,
Cam Harris
www.thewalkbeside.com
Sending you all my love and HUGE hugs to wrap around you xxx
I hear your pain, I read your pain, I see it in others too. I just cannot imagine it !@#!
Immie's birthday party will be a blast :-))) Go Girl xxx
Tash
Thinking of your family xoxox May Imogen have a wonderful 13th Ben 10 birthday. Your whole family are in my thoughts and prayers. It is my own son's 13th birthday this weekend and he has followed your blog with me for some time (complete strangers who have been inspired by your daughters courage). He says "happy 13th Imogen, hope you have a great one and also happy easter"
Have been following Dear Imogen's story via Blog and SS, prayers are with your whole family especially on Sunday.
"Happy 13th Birthday Imogen"
Angels are sent to special people.
Dear Fiona,Jason,Imogen,Kody and Ashton,
I have quietly followed your brave battle with an unrelenting enemy,sending healing thoughts and love through cyberspace to you all daily.
Immie, have the best"13th" birthday Angel Princess,you are an inspiration to many and a beautiful light to all.
Much love from our family to yours.xxx
I don't know you other than through this blog which I came across about a year and half ago but it is kids like Imogen and Kahlilla and all the others who I think about when I donate platelets here in the UK. I hope so much for you all that the party is wonderful and Imogen gets to sparkle and shine on her special day. Happy 6th -and 13th- birthday Imogen, I'm sending you postive thoughts and karma and good wishes from halfway around the world and I hope they double with every mile.
Ive been watching your blog for a while now...I am sorry that there is no cure, I am sorry you have to go through this, I only wish I there was a miracle cure out there.
Your love, strength & courage will get you all though this, and know that your not alone.
Immie, you have touched so many already with your infectious smile & bravery...I can only wish you a great 6th birthday on Saturday and that you have a blast! ENJOY precious girl :)
have been following your family journey for a coup;le of yrs on ss,my heart goes out to you all but i am humbled by the amount of love that shines through your words,you are all very blessed to be loved so much and by so many,Immie,hoping you have a wonderful 13th birthday,god bless you
I have been reading your blog for the past few months, I check everyday to see if you have updated. I am studying Psychology and eventually want to be a child psych and work with Families who are affected by cancer. Your family is such an inspiration to many. I am Radio Lollipop volunteer and I love it when i see a kid smiling, it brings tears to my eyes. I pray for you all every night. Lots of love always xxxx
Sweet little Immie, Very Happy Birthday wishes for such a brave, beautiful little girl. I really hope you enjoyed your party with your family and friends.
Dear Fiona, I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. I feel some degree of your pain, as I am struggling to come to terms with my little girls brain tumour, she is suffering terribly, too.
You are often in my thoughts, and every time I walk into or past 3B, I look at those beautiful tropical fish and your beautiful Immie comes into my mind. It really saddens me, to hear that she can no longer enjoy the many things she should be able to enjoy. I sit here with tears in my eyes and keep hoping and praying for that miracle for our beautiful girls.
My sincerest love, prayers and hope are with Imogen and your family. You are an amazing and brave mum and a true inspiration, take care love. xxxxxx Lyndall, Mikaela, Curtis and Jared Light xxxxxx
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